Here’s what I know about decades.
About a decade ago, I was expelled from high school.
The girls that bullied me so bad that I ended up in the hospital contributed to breaking a sense of my self worth that took me the better half of a decade, a lot of lifestyle changes, and a few good years of my marriage to heal from.
To make matters heavier, back then my home life wasn’t always an easy or stress free one.
That “incident” ended in my expulsion. Clever bullies got away with hurting me, and managed to make it look self induced.
I eventually got myself back into school, for all of a day, until I realized being with the other kids wasn’t a healthy fit for me, and I started college the next week. I came back only to speak at baccalaureate and walk, because I didn’t want to let them take those things from me.
A decade later, I’m just months shy of completing my Masters Degree, with this radically badass passion-driven focus in policy.
When I was expelled, a teacher told me it was a shame to be such a lost cause.
Now I’m graduating top of my class from a top university.
This is the power of a decade.
As I enter a new decade, I look back at the last one.
As I entered the last one, I entered it confused, and heart broken, directionless and lonely.
In the last decade however, things have changed.
I’ve challenged those heartbreaks.
I’ve fallen in love.
With myself.
And consequentially other people.
This is the power of a decade.
Back then the world had not been gentle with me, and I had not been gentle back.
I had simultaneously seen so much and so little then, and believed that must be what the whole world looks like.
Now, I credit most of my of gentleness with my acquaintance to the world we seem so determined to market as this big bad place.
This world has made me a speechless story teller, with so much to say, and not enough words to do it justice.
I now walk with a sense of gentleness I didn’t have when I entered the decade I’m now leaving behind.
This is the power of a decade.
I tell you these things because I know the power of a decade.
I know the power that taking time and giving time has on us, if we allow ourselves to be graceful with time.
I know the power that self discovery and self acceptance has on our ability to love one another better and fuller… even towards the people who don’t always seem to deserve it.
I know the power of fresh starts that come when we are brave enough to turn the page…and how accepting fresh starts helps us to extend forgiveness.
The power of my decade was characterized by an incredible love story.
One with God.
One with people.
One with self.
Loving God’s love for me.
Love stories of loving others as God has loved me.
Love stories of forgiveness and gratitude, anger and hope, rebellion and conscientiousness.
Love stories with the wisdom of others, recognizing that though I am not infinite, time is, and that recognizing the wisdom of others before me makes me greater than I alone am. It makes me part of the continuum.
Love stories of loving ones self. We must not seek the love we want, but become the love we want to spend the rest of our life with.
These are all my love stories.
This is the power of a decade.
Here’s what I can tell you about entering our next decade.
Time is a powerful thing, and if you partner your efforts with it, your life can change. Your love change. Your identity and humanity can change.
I’m not the same girl I used to be.
She was sad and lonely and confused a lot of the time. Not unlike a lot of people who are trying to figure out where the fit in this world.
I thank that girl for her fight. For her curiosity. For her willingness to grow. To forgive. To trust. To challenge boundaries when they were terrifying. To speak up and out and continuously.
I thank her for who I am now, though I don’t know her well anymore.
Because now I’m a happy. I’m steady. I’m both smart and witty. I’m rebellious and loving and trusting. I’m curious and challenging. Im far away. I’m gentle.
I know the power of a decade.
If you are heart broken, overworked, feeling powerless, that’s okay. This next decade won’t look the same as the last if you accept your own power and responsibility in changing it.
If you are feeling pressure to be better in the new decade but you aren’t quite sure how, take time to figure it out. Take all the time you need.
If you are looking at the world and feeling small because of radical policies, or confused by radical humans, or feeling like things are just a radical spin off of a bad story, start with a little bit of prayer and a little self reflection, and then listen very very closely. The world is whispering your calling.
When you look outside, remember that God is the birds and the trees and the wind. God is nearby.
And remember that God is the people too. So treat all the people like you just met God in drag.
Challenge your heartbreak.
Stand up for yourself.
Be fuller than you have let bad habits make you.
And when you are ready, recognize the power of honoring the last decade. Shed it if you must. Or thank it. Then look into the next decade and dedicate yourself to it.
You have conquered a lot that most people will never know about.
You have come farther than you have given yourself credit.
Honor this. Thank this. Be here for this.
This is the power of a decade.
When I walked into the decade I now leave behind, I didn’t know what was in store.
I took one step at a time.
Some of those steps were riddled with uncertainty and fear and loneliness, anger and confusion.
Some of them were filled with excitement and passion and love.
Some of them were both.
And some of them, I look back on and realize weren’t even my footsteps at all. They were too big. Where I had stepped was a God size footprint left where my small feet had touched.
I looked at the steps laid out behind me, and I remember the power of time. With God. And with myself. And with the world around me.
I now love the hell out of others, because God loved the hell out of me.
Read that line again.
This is the power of a decade.
I don’t know what you are carrying with you into the next decade, or what you are off loading, or what you are fighting, but you have done, and are doing a good job.
Good things are coming for you. Sometimes those good things will be masked in pain, kinda like mine was. Sometimes they will be obvious and undeniable.
I can tell you the painful moments will indeed be painful, but they need not be without purpose. My pain turned into this radical passion for functional love in our global society. And that’s pretty damn cool.
Sometime pain is guiding you away from itself, toward the place the world needs you to be. If I had stayed with friends that were not friends at all, I may have grown complacent and never left my comfort zone. If I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have found the work my heart was uniquely created for.
This is true for me.
And it’s true for you.
No matter how the story goes, good things are coming for you.
I know.
Because I know the power of a decade.
When I entered the last decade, I entered it heart broken and confused.
I would have been braver sooner if I knew what was coming for me.
The depth of love I would feel.
The breadth of passion I would experience.
Ten years later, I enter the next decade feeling both full and grounded.
Because I know the power of a decade.
This year, I walk into the new decade with new worlds to discover, new partnerships underway, new people to love, new world challenges to take on.
In the next five weeks, I will see five new countries. In the next year, more will follow.
My God, how beautiful that is.
In just a decade I went from a confused and lonely girl, to one that gets to see and love and face the world with brains and heart and courage. And really cool people by my side.
I don’t know what’s coming for you.
I don’t know what’s coming for me.
I don’t know where I’ll be in a decade.
But I’m excited to meet both you and me on the other side of all that is to come.
Because I know the power of a decade.
Cheers! I’ll see you in 2020.
Xo,
Taylor Patrice
